The Clint Achilles Chronicles

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Unbelievable Wrestlemania Moments #2 Dory Funk Jr. Actually Wrestled On A Wrestlemania Card

Click here to listen to the Podcast Version of this blog.

Now first off I want to say that not all of these are going to be about heel tag teams cheating to get a win. Most of them probably will be, but not all of them. Welcome to the second installment of Unbelievable Wrestlemania Moments. These are the unsung heroes of Wrestlemania. A little background as we take a look at Wrestlemania 2, perhaps the most forgettable Wrestlemania of them all. Vince McMahon had the brilliant idea of not only holding one card for Wrestlemania, but rather having three cards at three different venues all across the country. Sounds pretty stupid in theory right, well guess what, it was pretty stupid in execution too. Now you got to remember that we’re talking about 1986 right now, technology is not where it needs to be to even attempt to pull something like this off. Well Anyways, they had three different crowds, three different venues, three different cities, and three different announce teams, three different… at this point I think you get the idea. Kind of begs the question why they didn’t wait until Wrestlemania 3 to try this insanity, but since this was the first and last time they attempted to do three simultaneous shows on national pay per view, I think WWF/WWE corporate figured out that it wasn’t the best idea they ever had. The three different shows were held in Long Island, Chicago, and Los Angelas. There were a supposed three big main events for you trivia buffs out there, starting with Rowdy Roddy Piper vs Mr. T in a boxing match in Naassau Coliseum(which is technically Uniondale, NY, but somehow still considered Long Island), the British Bulldogs with Ozzy Osbourne in their corner vs the Dream Team of Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine in the Rosemont Horizon(Chicago), and the final and real main event of Hulk Hogan taking on King Kong Bundy in a steel cage at the Memorial Sports Arena. None of these matches were any good, but then again, nothing about this show really was.

My choice for the most Unbelievable Wrestlemania moment was going to be that this event actually happened, but then I saw a single name Hoss Funk. I almost fell out of my chair. Terry and Dory Funk Jr. wrestled at a Wrestlemania? Oh yeah, they sure did. The Funk Brothers battled Junk Yard Dog and Tito Santana in a tag team confrontation, alongside manager Jimmy Hart and his mega phone. For those of you that don’t know, the Funks are wrestling legends. Both held the NWA world championship, both of them wrestled extensively in Japan, and both are legit tough guys, and more over than that, both are crazy out of control Texans. I knew of a Terry Funk Wrestlemania appearance as Chainsaw Charlie in the 90s, but I had no idea that both Funk Brothers got to wrestle at the biggest show of the year, and that in and of itself is pretty cool.

Their opponents Junk Yard Dog and Tito Santana were mainstays of the 80s WWF scene. JYD had been a huge star for Bill Watts down in New Orelans Mid-South Championship Wrestling, and Tito worked for the WWF for what seems like twenty years. This was a pretty standard fair tag match, which there is nothing wrong with it. Watching it now almost made me feel like I had somehow stumbled upon a Memphis match that made its way onto a Wrestlemania tape, but this actually did happen. Jimmy Hart is spot on as a little annoying pest, and helps get the duke by throwing his megaphone in so that Terry can waffle JYD with it and get the cheap pin. On a list of the greatest things Terry Funk has done, I think this match would fall somewhere underneath appearing in Roadhouse, but slightly above tricking Mikey Whipwreck into listening to him speak gibberish in a Hotel Lobby for three hours. And as a great aside to this whole thing, if you think Michael Cole commentary is bad wait until you hear the terrific trio of Jesse Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Elvira. Yeah, Elvira, the fake vampire actress did commentary on a Wrestlemania. That was another great hook, three different C level actress celebrities talking about wrestling. Just absolutely insane.

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