The Clint Achilles Chronicles

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Here Comes The Pain…

Brock Lesnar. A monster of a man. Professional wrestler. Professional fighter. Pay Per View’s biggest draw of the past few years. A man? Maybe. A myth? No, trust me he exists. A legend? I think so. I became a fan of Brock Lesnar before he even made his way to national television as the dominate monster of WWE. Back in those days Jim Cornette ran Ohio Valley Wrestling(OVW) as a developmental territory for the WWE. In those days there were so many guys that were being groomed to come up to national television and I would hear rumblings about them on the LAW(Live Audio Wrestling) or on Wrestling Observer Radio. Lesnar was no exception, as I would hear Dave Meltzer talk about how this guy was going to be a huge star. A legit NCAA wrestling champion, and a mammoth of a man, when I first viewed a video of Brock it was as one half of the tag team the Minnesota Stretching Crew alongside Shelton Benjamin(who would go on to become one of the greatest tag team wrestlers of the modern era teaming with other OVW alum Charlie Haas). To say I was impressed by him would be an understatement. Not only did he look like a killer, he was pretty good in the ring too. It wasn’t long before he came onto Raw, around the time of the initial brand split(where WWE inexplicably made Raw and Smackdown two different brands, even though they were just two shows that featured different wrestlers that didn’t feel like two different companies at all). Brock showed up, and with Paul Heyman as his mouthpiece, just started destroying dudes and not even bothering to pin them, because why would he? He’s Brock Lesnar, and everyone knew those guys weren’t getting up. I’m pretty sure his first victim was Matt Hardy, who has become the train-wreck of all ex-wrestling superstars.

Unfortunately this didn’t last, because backstage politicians(probably Triple H) talked management into making Brock actually pin the men he destroyed. Brock went on to have great success, winning the undisputed championship by pinning the Rock at Summerslam and he was off to the races. Brock had some memorable moments in his short period of time in pro wrestling. Whether it be destroying the ring by suplexing the Big Show off the top rope, throwing one legged Zack Gowen down a flight of steps, or missing a shooting star press at Wrestlemania and almost killing himself in the process, the fact is, if you saw Brock Lesnar, you remembered Brock Lesnar.

Brock wasn’t enamored with the schedule that WWE wrestlers have to endure. In fact he hated it. Even though he met his wife Reno Mero(Sable) through wrestling, and made his name, and became a huge star, Brock is not the type of guy who likes to be on the road 300 days a year. Brock is the type of guy who likes to live in the wilderness of Minnesota miles away from any other human being, perhaps planning on how to destroy whatever fool decides to get in his way. Point in fact, the last time he had to take a drug test for UFC, he needed a few extra days to get to a facility because he was that far away from civilization, which is just plain awesome. So Brock decided, even though he was making a ton of money and was a huge television star that he was going to leave wrestling behind to try and become a football player in the NFL. Wait, really? Oh yeah, that happened.

Brock left behind his million dollar plus a year job to try and make it in the NFL, even though he had never played football at a collegiate level. His hometown team the Minnesota Vikings let him enter camp, and he even played in some preseaon games. Lesnar Jerseys were being sold on the Vikings wed site and all. But unfortunately Lesnar was a late cut on a team that had depth at the defensive tackle position. It was said at the time that he could have made other teams, but that never came to be, and Lesnar declined an offer to play for the Viking’s NFL Europe team, opting to stay stateside with his family. Brock did have one great moment in the NFL, where he hit Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Damon Huard so hard that he had to sit out a few plays.

From there, Brock had a few matches in New Japan Pro Wrestling, winning the IWGP Heavyweight Championship. But soon thereafter he started to train to become a mixed martial arts fighter. Lesnar eventually made it to the UFC, where he won the UFC Heavyweight Championship, and made even more money than he did in WWE by bringing in some of the best buy rates of the past few years. Brock was panned by critics and thrived on controversy(as he has wherever he has gone). Combined with his freakish look and great ability to talk people into the building(a trait he surely developed in wrestling with great minds like Paul Heyman and Jim Cornette teaching him) Brock became the man everyone wanted to see in the Octagon. But Brock came down with an intestinal disease called diverticulitis that stalled his MMA career and ultimately brought it to an end. After managing to beat Shane Carwin, Lesnar lost the UFC Heavyweight title to Cain Velasquez, and then announced his retirement from MMA after a quick loss to Alistair Overeem. I rejoiced, because now I know Brock is coming back to wrestling, sooner or later. And even Dana White said that he would be more than willing to let Lesnar out of his UFC contract to compete in the WWE.

Two opponents are being talked about for Brock, the first being the Undertaker. Now Brock and Undertaker have squared off before, including an awesome Hell in a Cell match that was a bloody affair that redefined what a Hell in a Cell match could be, by taking away the craziness of fighting on top of the cage and insane bumps, and replaced it with brutal hard hitting violence within the cage. Plus Undertaker and Lesnar had an awesome stair down confrontation after one of Brock’s fight, which was an angle to set up a match for Wrestlemania last year that never happened. I would love to see this match, even though I’ve seen it before, and honestly, with both of them being older, it probably won’t be anywhere near the level of their old matches, but there is just something about these two guys who just exude toughness, duking it out one more time on the grandest stage of them all Wrestlemania. My only problem with this scenario is that Undertaker doesn’t have many matches left I would think(considering that he only wrestles once a year now) and that this one off match with Lesnar, a guy who is never coming back full time, would be the waste of what could possibly be a nice way to get a younger guy the rub from Undertaker. That being said, I want to see it, so I really don’t care.

The other talked about opponent is Stone Cold Steve Austin. This all goes back to a time when Austin was asked to lose to Lesnar in a King of the Ring qualifying match on Monday Night Raw, and rather than put Lesnar over, Austin just went home and didn’t show up to work. At the time I thought it was a huge dick move, but now in retrospect, I agree completely with Austin’s viewpoint on the subject. Stone Cold had no problem with putting Lesnar over, but he was only going to do it if it made sense. Jobbing out to Brock on free television with no build was like throwing money away. This was potentially a huge money program that if built up and put on pay per view would first off mean a whole lot more for Brock’s then just getting started career, and make everyone in the company a ton of money. However, as often is the case, it seems that WWE isn’t overly concerned with making money(they make so much of it already anyways), that they were more concerned with punishing Austin by making him lose on national television. Austin thought it was stupid, so he just didn’t do it. As I look back, I think that was an awesome move on his part, and I wish more guys would do stuff like this, I think it would result in a better product by WWE. Back to the point on hand, I am not frothing at the mouth for a Lesnar Austin match. If Stone Cold makes a comeback, I would want to see him wrestle CM Punk. Punk, the straightedge smart mouth, taking on the bear drinking trash talking Texas Rattlesnake is just a natural match up. Plus the interviews building up the match would be phenomenal. The match itself, even given Austin’s limitations, would be top notch with Punk in the prime of his career and really coming into his own as one of the best workers in the business today. I would prefer Brock take on Undertaker, and Austin take on Punk, but who knows, Lesnar may just get to take on Austin next year at Wrestlemania, only this time, I am sure that Stone Cold will be getting the pin-fall brother.

There are some other matches I would like to see involving Brock. Him and Punk I think would be a good one. I would rather see Punk take on Austin, or Punk wrestle Jericho, but I wouldn’t mind seeing Punk and Lesnar battle it out. It could be like a new version of those awesome Punk Samoa Joe matches from Ring of Honor. I really don’t see this match happening, but who knows, it’s possible with Punk being one of the biggest stars in WWE currently. For some reason I would also like to see Big Dave Batista come back and square off with Brock. Just two big jacked up tattooed men with MMA backgrounds going toe to toe, I think it would be great. I’m not sure if either of these guys have wrestled each other before, I kind of think they must have back in the OVW days at some point, but I’ve never seen it, and with Batista currently training to become an MMA fighter(much like Brock did after leaving WWE) there is a parallel story there that could play out well in a match. I would also love to see a Shawn Michaels Brock Lesnar match. Now this is the least likely of the scenarios, because Shawn is retired, and unlike Terry Funk(of Planet Funk) and Ric Flair, it seems like Shawn has no intention of coming back to the ring. I think it would be an awesome match, because Shawn Michaels has awesome matches with everyone. Others I could name would be bringing Shelton in to feud with Brock as former teammates in College and in OVW, I think it would be some fun stuff. Also a squash match where Brock just destroys Marc Mero(Johnny B Badd of WCW) the ex-husband of his current wife would be awesome. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens, and it could be awhile. With the Rock coming back for this year’s Wrestlemania, Brock’s return probably won’t happen until next year, but you never know.


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January 2012
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